Children Are Our Future
by xToastedZelda
Summary: Dean and Cas are finally graduating, and together, I might add. But when someone from Dean's past shows up, will their relationship hold up, or crash and burn at the new obstacle? (Destiel) [warnings: non-con, molestation, incest, self harm]
1. Prologue

As a second grader, the only things Dean Winchester needed to think about were the multiplication tables and fat crayons. Well, and taking care of Sammy. Their mother had to work two jobs just to keep food on the table, their father absent. John Winchester had left the family of four, now three, when Dean was 5; Sam had barely begun to talk. John moved from Lawrence, Kansas to some northern city in Washington State. At least that's where he was the last time anyone bothered to check.

He had said the split with Mary was a mutual thing and promised to visit every other weekend. That promise soon fell through. Within two months, John had stopped coming to Lawrence. Soon after that, he stopped all contact.

But it was New Years, and John had some urge to come visit his kids. Mary reluctantly handed them over and let him take them to some cheap vacation rental a few blocks over. Sam was busy in the living room watching Bill Nye while John and Dean…

Dean couldn't register that anything his father was doing was anything abnormal. He couldn't know it was wrong; he was only 8. John gently laid Dean down on the bed and kissed him gently on the cheek, distracting Dean from the hands slowly sliding his jeans down his legs.

To this day, his father's whispered command constantly echoes through Dean's head.

"Don't tell Sammy, okay? It'll be our little secret."

* * *

Years passed. Dean hadn't told Sam. He hadn't told anyone. He figured he'd never have to see that guy again and Sam wouldn't have to worry about his big brother. No big deal, right? Besides, he'd already blocked out most of the memories.

Dean and Cas met in their junior year of high school. Castiel Novak, the new kid from California, appeared suddenly in Dean's English class. The boy nervously shuffled to the seat right in front of Dean's. Before he could turn to the front, though, Dean got a clear view of the boy's sapphire eyes. He had written some sissy poem about angels or some crap but when he had to present it to the class, Dean was smitten. He heard the gravelly voice of the shy, blue-eyed boy and it was like "Love At First Nervous Cough."

Their first kiss took place on a field trip to the zoo. Dean and Cas had snuck away from the group together to see the giraffes (Castiel's favorite animal) when the dark-haired kid got up on his tippy-toes to press his lips against the ones of the ruggedly handsome boy. Dean returned the kiss, almost over-eagerly. He wrapped his arms around the shorter teenager and pulled their bodies flush against each other. They split apart at the sound of the teacher/chaperone clearing her throat.

Between the zoo and now, the two had shared many more kisses. Dean's birthday, Valentine's Day, Fourth of July, Castiel's birthday, warm summer nights on the hood of the Impala, cold autumn afternoons in the backseat snuggling in the blankets, the one snowstorm that had them held up in Castiel's tiny apartment with his 3 other siblings; all littered with kisses ranging from a chaste peck of the lips to downright mouth annihilation.

Castiel finished his classes with a solid 4.0 GPA and a scholarship to Stanford. Dean, not so much. Dean excelled in his auto shop class and, with help from Cas, managed a B+ in English.

The graduation ceremony was in the morning, then in the afternoon a graduation party consisting of the Winchester and Novak families.

Dean pulled the elastic of the mortarboard around the crown of his head and turned to Castiel.

"Who decided that this is what people have to wear to graduate? It looks ridiculous," he griped, shaking his head to make the tassel move.

Castiel chuckled lightly and stepped toward the other graduate, placing his hands on Dean's sides. "Well, at least you're graduating." Dean grimaced.

"Don't even joke about that, Cas. I worked my ass off to walk across the stage with you." He leaned down and lightly pressed his lips to Cas's for a moment. "Still, I've worked way too hard to have to look like an idiot with this piece of cardboard on my head."

"We'll all look the same, Dean," Cas noted.

Dean shrugged. "Yeah, we all look like idiots."

A knock on the door interrupted the complaining.

"Guys, come on, it's time to go," Sam's voice carried through the door.

Dean knocked Castiel's cap forward on his head with his knuckle and snickered. "C'mon, loser, we're graduating."

Cas lifted the mortarboard back to its original position and kept his eyes on Dean as he opened the door. "I don't understand that reference," he muttered before following his light-haired boyfriend out to the living room. Dean stopped and Castiel awkwardly bumped into his back.

"Dad," he breathed.


	2. Chapter 1:Runaway

Suddenly, he was eight years old again.

"Dad," he breathed.

"Surprise!" Mary chirped. "He wanted to come see you graduate."

Dean nodded, keeping his narrowed eyes on his father, trying not to seem off put by his presence.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Come give your dad a hug," John beamed with his arms spread.

Dean felt the bile rising in his throat, and the heat in his lungs kick-started his feet in the direction of the front door, pushing Sam and whoever else out of the way. He heard Mary and Castiel calling what could have been his name but he wasn't really listening, his mind focused on getting as far away from that horrible person as possible. He ran as fast as his legs would move, eventually coming to the park two blocks down from his house and collapsing in the grass.

Dean sat with his legs bunched up under him as he dry-heaved through sobs and clutched at the blades of grass beneath him when a hand landed softly on his shoulder. He flinched away from the touch and cried harder.

He vaguely heard a familiar voice whispering to him worriedly. Dean ignored whoever it was and rolled off his feet so he could pull his knees into his chest and bury his face in his arms.

He must have blacked out at some point because the next thing he knew he was sitting up against a park bench under one of those awning things, gown bunched up on a picnic table, half of a lit cigarette dangling from his fingers, and perfect boyfriend sitting across from him. Dean's eyes went from the concrete to Castiel's. Castiel's eyes were still as blue as the day they met. They softened as they locked onto Dean's face.

"You ready to talk?" he asked softly.

Dean shook his head and took a drag from the cigarette, the smoke burning delightfully as it filled his lungs.

Castiel sighed and glanced at his watch. "We missed graduation, you know."

Dean nodded absently.

"Sam called wondering where you were, I told him you needed time alone."

Dean nodded again.

He leaned forward and reached at Cas lazily, tugging at his loose tie. Castiel took the hint and scooted closer to his boyfriend. Dean stared at him for a moment before patting the area next to him, eyes still locked on Castiel's.

Castiel chuckled lightly before sitting next to Dean who nuzzled his head into the crook of Cas's neck. They sat like that for a good twenty minutes, slowly tracing patterns on each others legs, before Dean spoke.

"You bring anything to drink?"

Cas smirked. "Not today, Dean."

Silence fell between them again.

"So what did my family say when I ditched them?"

Cas shrugged. "Your mom was pretty confused." He plucked the cigarette from Dean's hand and brought it to his lips, taking a long toke before saying, "but your dad was pissed."

Dean froze, almost literally. His skin flushed white and all his body heat vanished as he internally panicked at the mention of...that guy. He lifted his head from Cas's shoulder and scooted away from him.

"W-what was he saying?" Dean stammered, voice hoarse and almost silent. He folded his legs to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, picking fiercely at his fingernails.

Castiel turned to completely face Dean. He leaned forward and tried to touch his arm but Dean batted away his hand and curled further into himself. Cas raised a worried eyebrow then both when he put everything together. "Dean," he whispered, "What happened with your Dad?"

Dean's breath hitched and he turned his face away, hiding his shame along with the tears that streamed down his cheeks.

Castiel whispered again, hesitantly moving his hand onto Dean's foot, "Dean, it's okay." His voice was soft and hopefully calming. "Just...tell me what happened."

Dean sniffled and wiped his face with his sleeve. "I-I don' wanna t-tell you," he hiccuped.

"Why not?" Cas persisted.

Dean shook his head forcefully. "Because you won't...you won't l-love me, if I tell you."

Castiel grimaced before sitting up and pulling Dean's head in for a gentle kiss on his forehead. He looked Dean in the eyes. "I will love you no matter what," he whispered. His thumbs ghosted over his freckled cheekbones, wiping away the wetness.

Dean shook his head again, pulling out of Castiel's hands. "No!" he shrieked. "N-no, I can't."

Castiel sat back. "But, Dean," he started soothingly, "don't you think if you told me," he paused when Dean looked at him, "I could help you through it?" Dean sucked in a breath, and after giving it a quick thought, nodded.

"W-when I was a k-kid," Dean began slowly, "When my...when my dad lived...wherever, h-he would come visit me and Sammy and…" His voice trailed off while his hands moved as if to find the words. Dean sighed. "Sammy would be in the o-other room...just one damn room away." He shook his head. "Dad would put me in the bed, tell me that what he was gonna do was too 'grown up' for Sam, and he would...he'd…" Dean was sobbing and Cas had one hand over his mouth and the other pulling at his hair.

Castiel could pretty much figure out from there what had happened, and couldn't believe what one kid had to go through. A tear touched the top of his hand and broke him out of his thoughts. He lunged forward and scooped Dean into his arms, cradling the crying teenager and sobbing with him.

Dean scrambled to free himself. "P-please don't...don't touch me," he whimpered once free.

"Dean, I am so sorry," Castiel breathed.

Dean stood, wobbly at best. "No, don't even say that."

"Dean, what are you-"

"I don't need people feeling sorry for me." He turned and ran toward the line of trees at the edge of the park farthest from the road. Dean quickly disappeared into the woods. Castiel jumped up; his first instinct was to follow him, but he felt he had something more important to do.

Cas took off back in the direction of the Winchester home.


	3. Chapter 2: The Confrontation

"John Winchester!" Castiel's voice boomed through the average sized house. John and Sam were seated next to each other on the couch. Mary entered from the kitchen as Cas approached.

"Calm down, honey. What's wrong?" she asked holding her palms out.

Castiel sneered and pointed at John. "What is he even doing here?"

Mary glanced at John before Cas pushed past her and stood inches away from the disgusting man.

"He was a kid, you ass!" he growled. John stood, towering over the teen. Castiel kept eye-contact.

John sighed. "Look, Castiel, you don't understand."

Cas stared at him incredulously. "Wh-...What? I don't understand?" He crossed his arms. "Alright, explain it to me then. Explain how you could molest your own son."

Mary gasped. Sam jumped away from his father.

"What?!" Sam shrieked. Mary was silent as she stared wide-eyed at her ex husband.

John scrubbed a hand down his face and sat back down.

"I came here to apologize," he admitted quietly.

Castiel scoffed. "And you think a simple 'I'm sorry' will cut it?"

"I don't know," John huffed exasperatedly. "I just want to talk to him. I mean, if that's okay."

"Well, good luck finding him."

"What are you talking about?" Mary inquired softly.

"Dean's out in the woods somewhere," he sighed. "He was telling me everything-" he paused to point at John. "I'm calling the cops, by the way. And, um, he stormed off into the woods."

John stood. "We have to find him."

"You will stay here," Mary ordered. "Sam, I want you to go to Castiel's house, okay? Stay with Gabriel." Sam nodded and she turned to Castiel. "Take me to where you were."

* * *

"Dean!" Castiel called as he and Mary navigated through the woods. Branches snapped under their feet and a canopy of leaves shielded them from the early summer sun. "There's a small clearing through here somewhere," he pointed ahead of him. "We used to come out here on the weekends and…" his voice trailed off before he revealed their nights of senselessly rutting against each other. Castiel cleared his throat and continued in the direction of the open area.

And, as Castiel predicted, there was Dean, sitting against a tree along the edge of the clearing with a cigarette dangling from his lips and a pocket knife, opened and red with his own blood, on his lap.

"Dean!" Cas shrieked as he bolted to his side. Dean lifted his gaze to Castiel, finally looking up from staring at a leaf on the ground. His eyes were rimmed with red and dried tear tracks were still on his cheeks.

Dean shook his head in defeat. "Cas, I...Cas, I can't do this. Not anymore." His voice came out like a hoarse whisper. Castiel glanced down at Dean's covered arms then over to Mary before rolling up one of his sleeves. Mary gasped when she caught sight of the dark red gashes that covered her son's arm from wrist to elbow. Cas lowered his head and grunted into his hand.

"Not again, Dean," he muttered. Mary covered her mouth with both hands as she began to sob quietly, in disbelief that her son had actually done this before. Cas sighed and looked back up at Dean who was again staring at the ground. "I know this is hard, but you don't have to do this." He emphasized by lifting his arm slightly.

Dean made a sound of disgust and pulled his arm out of Castiel's grasp. Cas grabbed the knife from his lap, closed it on his knee, and chucked it somewhere deep in the woods.

"John said he wanted to talk to you," Mary said softly, the first thing she'd said since they got to the park.

Dean shook his head violently.

"It's okay if you don't want to."

Dean sniffled and Castiel held his hand.

Cas waited a moment before speaking. "You will have to talk to somebody about this eventually, though," he whispered.

Dean finally looked at him again. "No, I...I just want this to be over," he quietly admitted. "I want him gone." His eyes widened. "Where's Sam?" Dean looked from Castiel to Mary for an answer.

"I sent him to be with Gabriel," Mary responded. "I didn't want him to be in the house alone with John."

"Good," Dean said, somewhat loudly. "That's...that's a good thing." He cleared his throat. "So, what now?"

"Well, what do you want to do?" Castiel placed his hand on Dean's lower back.

Dean shrugged. "I don't want to go home."

Cas leaned in closer. "Do you want to come to my house?"

Dean nodded and let Castiel kiss him lightly before standing and helping him to his feet.

* * *

Mary swung the front door open and stormed through the house in search of John. He was standing by the counter, making himself a sandwich.

"I want you out of this house," Mary barked as she dug her phone out of her pocket and dialed 911. "You are absolute trash," she sneered at him before the operator answered.

"911, what is your emergency?"

"There is a child molester in my house, I need you to come arrest him," she stated urgently before giving them the address, thanking them, then hanging up.

John had been turned away from her as she spoke. After Mary hit end he spun around and knocked her to the floor with a clock to the face before bolting out the back door.

* * *

After arriving at Castiel's apartment and dodging questions from the half of his family that cared, Castiel led Dean into the bathroom to clean and dress his wounds. Dean sat on the counter while Cas gently rubbed his arm with a wet cloth and whispered over and over that everything was going to be okay.

Dean had calmed down significantly by the time they reached Castiel's bedroom and the two ended up wrapped in each others arms under the covers of Cas's bed.

Dean ran his fingers through the tiny hairs on the back of Castiel's neck before kissing him roughly. He shifted the two over until he was on top and straddling Cas's hips.

"Dean, we probably shouldn't-" Dean stopped his words with another firm kiss to his lips.

"I want this, okay?" Dean punctuated his sentence with a soft thrust to Castiel's crotch and began kissing the smaller boys neck. Cas let out a quiet mewl at Dean's ministrations and Dean could feel him getting hard through his slacks.

Dean smirked, letting his hand roam down Castiel's chest and play at his waistband. After a few teasing moments of Dean cupping him through the fabric, he finally popped the button, granting a satisfied moan from Cas. He reached in and groped Castiel's cock, stroking it lightly.

"You tease," Cas panted.

Dean nibbled at his collarbone as he quickened his pace. Castiel began thrusting into Dean's hand. He quickly unzipped Dean's pants and starting jacking off the guy above him. Dean groaned and again sped up his strokes. Cas reciprocated until they were both violently tugging each other's dicks and soon they came over their hands and down Cas's chest.

Dean flopped down beside Castiel and they both breathed heavily until their heart rate slowed back down to a normal speed. Cas peeled off his soiled shirt and tossed it off the bed before snuggling up to Dean.

They fell asleep like that, Castiel's head tucked into Dean's neck and their legs intertwined together.

* * *

Castiel woke in the dark to an empty bed and a small sniffling sound coming from the other side of the room.

"Dean?"

The whimpering continued. Cas got out of the bed and padded over to the lamp on his desk, clicking the chain and turning it on. Dean was tucked between a wall and a laundry basket, knees pulled into himself and crying.

Castiel sank down on his knees next to him and hugged him gently. "Hey," he whispered. "It's okay, everything's fine." Dean was shaking. "What happened?" he asked slowly.

Dean didn't speak. He closed his eyes tightly and two tears fell down his face.

"Nightmare?"

He nodded haltingly.

"...Was it your Dad?"

Dean let out a sob and Cas held him ruffled his fingers through Dean's short, dirty-blonde hair.

"It'll be over soon, okay? I promise," Castiel soothed. Dean nodded quickly and buried his head in Cas' neck.

They had been sitting like that for a few minutes when Cas whispered, "You ready to go back to bed, now?"

Dean leaned back and shrugged. He wiped the tears from his eyes and stood, sticking his hand out to help up his boyfriend. They sat together on the edge of the bed, hands folded in each others and Cas's head on Dean's shoulder.

"I can't take you down with me," Dean finally whispered after exactly eighteen minutes of silence, his voice cracking. Castiel lifted his head and gave him a quizzical look. He continued, "I can't...listen, Cas, I don't want you to have to do this with me."

Cas sat up completely and released his hand. "Dean, what the hell are you talking about?"

He sighed and stood up. "We need to break up," he said without seeing the utterly broken expression on Cas's face. Dean walked out of the room and didn't turn back.


	4. Chapter 3: Guns N' Roses

Seeing Mary's car was back in the driveway, Sam and Gabriel walked up the front steps of the Winchester home with the remainders of slushies in their hands.

"I'm just saying they probably won't bring it back," Sam said, continuing their conversation.

"Hey! All I said was that Dan Stark was a comedic genius and television is doing a great disservice to this country by not having that character in a show," Gabe retorted.

Sam opened the front door as he replied, "And I get that, I just don't think the rest of America does."

"Yeah okay, but-" was all Gabriel got out before the two caught a glimpse of Mary unconscious on the kitchen floor.

"Mom!" Sam shrieked as he ran and knelt by her. He noticed the blossoming bruise by her left eye. "Dude, call the cops," he yelled to Gabriel as he gently tried to shake his mother awake.

Gabriel had pulled his phone out and was just about to dial when they heard police sirens already approaching. Sam and Gabe shared a confused look. Mary started to stir.

"Mom, you okay? What happened?" Sam asked quickly as two police officers walked through the still open front door.

The officers entered the kitchen before she responded. "'was John," she somewhat slurred. "He...hit me...then left." Mary described what he looked like to one of the officers who then repeated it into his radio, putting out an APB on him before leaving to help with the search.

Sam ordered Gabriel to bring him some ice from the freezer and a towel and he held the bundle to Mary's face. He sat her up against a cabinet.

"Where's Dean?" Gabriel asked.

"I dropped Cas and him off at your house," Mary answered. "Where were you?"

Gabe held out the slushie cup half-filled with raspberry wedding cake flavored shaved ice. "We went for slushies." Sam glanced to where he dropped his by the door, blue ice now melting into the carpet.

"Oh," his face fell and he stood up. "Yeah, I should clean that up."

Hours passed and John was still on the run. Knowing how important this was to their family, Gabriel said goodbye to Sam and Mary at about 10 pm before heading back to his own home.

Gabriel trudged up the stairs to his apartment, exhausted physically and emotionally from the days events. He stood outside the door, rummaging through his pockets for his keys, when the door swung open and a very upset-looking Dean tore past him.

"Woah woah, hey," Gabriel stopped him, grabbing onto his arm. "What's up?"

Dean turned around and glared at him. "What's up?! Dude, what is it with your family and needing to know everything about me at every waking moment?" Dean spat exasperatedly, balling his fists by his side.

Gabriel gave a sympathetic sigh. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" he angrily growled before disappearing down the stairs.

Gabe raised an eyebrow at no one and entered the apartment. It was mostly dark aside from the tv playing a dvd menu on repeat after Michael fell asleep watching War Games. He plucked the remote off his snoozing brother's chest and turned it off. After the sound ceased, Gabriel heard the faint sound of someone crying.

He followed the sound to Castiel's door and knocked hesitantly. "Cas?" he whispered as the weeping continued. "You okay, kid?" Gabe opened the door slowly and witnessed his younger sitting on the edge of his bed and sobbing quietly into his hands.

"Oh, shit." Gabriel closed the door behind him as he moved to sit next to Cas. He rubbed his back. "What's wrong?" he whispered.

Castiel lifted his head and looked at Gabe with his red-rimmed eyes. "Dean broke up with me."

"What?" Gabriel blinked, taken aback. "What happened?"

"He said he didn't want to drag me through this or something then he left."

Gabriel nodded slowly. "Well, maybe he does need time alone," he said, shrugging. "I mean, this is kind of a big deal."

"I guess you're right," Cas agreed, wiping the wetness from his face with the back of his hand. "I just hope he's okay."

Gabe patted his shoulder. "Get some sleep, kid. You look like hell."

* * *

Dean shambled down the street to his house. Halfway through the bottle of scotch he swiped from the homeless guy squatting in one of the vacant first floor apartments in Cas's building, his steps weren't exactly precise. He was just finishing it off as he stumbled into the living room, tossing the empty bottle against the doorframe leading to the kitchen. It didn't break, but it caused a loud enough bang to wake up Sam.

His younger brother appeared in the hallway moments later with his little league baseball bat in hand.

"What the hell, Dean?" Sam said, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. "It's, like, two in the morning."

Dean pointed at him. "Wha's with the bat?" he slurred.

Sam leaned the bat against the wall behind him. "I thought you were Dad."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Why would you hit Dad with a bat? Besides the obvious reasons."

"He hit Mom then disappeared," Sam sighed.

Sam's statement hit Dean like a sledgehammer to the chest and he collapsed on the couch. "Oh my god…" he muttered quietly. "This is all my fault." The alcohol made his words slide together.

"What are you-"

"If I hadn't let Dad touch me," he took a deep breath, "none of this would've happened." Dean popped off the couch and was bumbling toward the front door when Sam stopped him. The smell of alcohol emanating from his brother finally hit his nose.

"Dude, you're drunk, okay. Just," Sam struggled to keep Dean on his feet, "go to bed."

Dean was fumbling for the door handle. "N-o, Sammy, I-" hiccup "-gotta go do sunthin'." He broke out of Sam's arms and finally opened the door.

Sam, however, grabbed Dean's hands and held them tightly behind him.

"Do you hear yourself right now, Dean? You need to get some rest."

Groaning through it, Dean finally let Sam drag him to his room and put him in bed. He tossed around for several minutes before sleep eventually came over him.

_"Dad's coming to visit this weekend, Dean! Mom said he might take us to that Jayhawks game on Saturday."_

_"Um...yeah okay."_

_"Aren't you excited? We haven't seen Dad in, like, three years."_

_"Four years, Sammy."_

_"Whatever, he's coming home in a few- Oh, hey, Mom!"_

_"Hi, Sam! How's my little scientist?"_

_"Oh, uh...yeah, I guess I should've been working on that project."_

_"Dean, go help your father with his bags."_

_"Wait, what?"_

_"Heya, Sport!"_

_"John, I was going to send Dean to help you with those."_

_"Nah, I got it."_

_"Where are you going?"_

_"Dean?"_

_"Don't run away from me."_

_"Don't squirm so much."_

_"Nothing bad's gonna happen."_

_"I've got you."_

_"You're so...beautiful."_

Dean woke with a jerk. He never realized how much of his childhood he had repressed until it all came flying at him in his sleep. Though currently he remembered all the shady kids he hung out with in middle school and how Gavin MacLeod used to steal his mom's Xanax and get his older brother to buy them hard liquor and he and their friends would go under a bridge or something and get black-out wasted.

Dean suddenly remembered why he did all that.

He wiped the cold sweat from his forehead and neck and peeled the thin sheets off himself before slunking out of bed and over to his closet. Dean pushed aside the hanging clothes and reached into the box he kept tucked away in the corner, pulling out a .357 Magnum revolver.

Dean shoved the gun into the front of his waistband and covered it with his shirt before tiptoeing into the hallway and out the back door.

He didn't know much about his father, but he did know that if it was late at night and he was avoiding someone, he'd probably be drowning himself in alcohol somewhere. Dean decided the only bar in town would suffice so he hopped on Sam's razor scooter and sped downtown.

Dean whizzed into the parking lot of Johnny's Tavern and dropped the scooter as he ran inside. John was sitting at the counter, in one hand an empty glass and in the other his forehead. Dean stormed to the middle of the room.

"John!" he barked, feeling as if calling him 'Dad' was something the man didn't deserve. John turned around and flinched at the gun that was pointed at him. The entire bar was staring at the scene, the bartender reaching for the phone.

"You-you dick!" Dean yelled. "You ruined my childhood, alright, I was just a kid. You ruined my life, John, ruined it." He was rambling and the hand holding the gun tremored. "Sam trusted you, okay, I...I used to trust you. A-and, you know what? I'm here to end it, all of it."

John slid off his chair and held his hands up halfheartedly. "Not like this, Dean. Just...calm down, alright?"

Dean smirked and tasted salt on his lips. Tears were streaming down his face, down his neck and wetting the collar of his shirt. Well, Cas's shirt. In the rush to redress at his now-ex-boyfriend's house, he picked up one of Castiel's shirts. It was grey with a Locksley logo on it. Locksley was Castiel's favorite band.

He ignored the pulling in his chest at the thought of Cas and shook the gun at John. "Shut up," he growled. He caught a glance of the bartender with the phone receiver pressed to his ear. "Let's take this outside," Dean grumbled, cautiously watching the other bar occupants.

John hesitantly walked past him, hands still held out. Dean followed him to the door with the barrel of the gun pressed into his back. He leaned into John's ear and whispered, "Don't even think about running, you fucking pervert." John shivered as he opened the door.

The entire Lawrence Police Department was waiting outside.

At least five squad cars were lined up in a semicircle barrier around the entrance. Officers were crouching with guns pointed at the two. A helicopter flew overhead, spotlight on Dean. Someone shouted over a megaphone, "Drop your weapon!"

Dean, panicking, shot his father in the back. The dulled gunshot rattled through John's body and he fell to the ground. The boy immediately pulled the gun to his chin and pulled the trigger again. Click! ...Wait.

The next thing Dean felt was 50,000 volts of electricity pulsing through him. The lights of the police cars brightened and blurred in his vision. Dean convulsed and hit the pavement hard.

He was sure he was dead.


	5. Chapter 4: Scrubs

A repetitive beeping noise and splitting headache woke Dean. He squeezed his eyes shut and reached up to rub his temples. His hands moved a few inches before stopping. He opened his eyes to see that he had been handcuffed to the bed. Dean sat up as much as he could and looked around.

There were a few monitors reading off a bunch of stuff Dean couldn't understand. Two vacant chairs sat by the door. Above them were two large windows and through them Dean could see a nurse.

"Hey!" he yelled hoarsely, getting her attention.

She walked into the doorway. "How ya feelin'?" she asked, so sweetly it felt condescending. Dean shook his fists, making the handcuffs rattle against the rail as an answer. The nurse smirked. "I'll let your family know you're awake."

Dean rolled his eyes as she walked off toward the waiting room. He pulled harder on the cuffs to no avail. Sighing, he laid back down and waited for the inevitable shriek from his mother when she would run in.

Mary eventually shuffled into the room behind a doctor, both hands covering her mouth and tears glistening in her eyes. The doctor went to the end of Dean's bed and picked up the clipboard hanging from the footboard.

"My name is Doctor Carrigan, I'll be treating you," he said as he thumbed through Dean's chart. "Well, you have a concussion from falling." Carrigan flipped to the next page. "And cardiac dysrhythmia from being tased...one cracked rib-"

"Wait, what's that," Dean waved his hand as he thought, "cardiac...rhythmic gymnastics thing…?"

Dr. Carrigan chuckled lightly for a moment before becoming serious. "Cardiac dysrhythmia means you have an irregular heartbeat. It can cause heart attacks so we need to treat that as soon as possible."

"Oh, cool," Dean nodded and Carrigan left.

Mary fully faced Dean. "What the hell?!"

"What?" he shrugged.

"You could die, Dean," she fumed. "Don't you-"

Two men had entered the room holding out Douglas County Police Department badges. "Dean Winchester, I'm Detective Hodges, this is my partner Lang. We have some questions for you," one of them spoke. Dean nodded and the broader man identified as Lang continued.

"Did you intend to kill John Winchester?"

Dean sat up straighter, a snide grin plastered on his face. "Is he dead?" he asked hopefully.

The officers eyed each other then Mary who shook her head at the room.

"Damn," Dean muttered. "Anyway, yeah. Guy's a real prick."

Hodges took a step closer to the bed, scribbling on the notepad in his hand. "Attempted murder," he muttered as he wrote.

Mary's eyes widened as she looked at Dean. Dean shrugged, mouthing, "I'm gonna plead insanity," with a wink.

The detectives eventually left, unlocking and taking the handcuffs, earning a mumbled thanks from Dean. Mary headed out, too, as ordered by the doctor who claimed visiting hours were over and she could come back the next day after ten.

Dean let out a sigh of relief as he settled into the bed.

A pretty lady with red hair wearing a light pink sweater and khaki pencil skirt knocked lightly on the door frame.

"Ugh, what?" Dean groaned.

"I'm Dr. Milton from the psychiatric ward," she introduced herself with a small, hesitant wave. Dean nodded condescendingly. "Y-you can call me Anna. Um...I'm here to talk to you about what happened."

"Aha," Dean replied with a harsh tone. "Here to shrink my brain, are you?"

Anna rolled the doctor's stool closer to him and sat. "I just want to know what happened." She spoke softly, as if he was a puppy she found in an alley somewhere. And Dean hated that.

"I shot my dad, what else is there to know?"

She cleared her throat. "Well, the police report said that after you shot John you held the gun to your own head?"

Dean scoffed. "The damn gun jammed. I could be drinking rum out of a coconut with little umbrellas in it on Heaven's beach right now but instead I'm stuck here."

"So you wanted to kill yourself?" Anna asked quietly.

Dean rose, kicking the rough blue hospital blanket off his legs, and stood next to the bed. "Yeah, I want to fucking kill myself, lady, alright?!" he shouted, towering over her. "My life sucks and I made it that way so I should be the one to end it, right?"

Dr. Milton shook her head. "Please sit down, Dean."

"No!" Dean called and pointed to the door. "Get out of here, I don't need you."

She calmly stood. "I'll be back later this week," she spoke before turning and walking out.

"I hope not," Dean muttered to himself when she was out of earshot.

* * *

"Suicide watch?" Sam inquired.

Dean scoffed. "Yeah, doctor's orders, the putz."

"Dean, you tried to kill yourself?" Sam's voice was quiet and uneven.

He sighed. "Yeah, Sam, I...I tried to kill myself. I want to kill myself."

Sam briskly wiped the tear from his eye before it formed. "Why?" he asked after a few minutes of dense silence.

The older Winchester groaned weakly. "Because Sam," he sighed, "I'm the one who enticed John to...to do whatever he did." Dean dropped his gaze to his hands and picked at the bandages on his arm, sniffling away a few tears. "I wanted to make sure nobody else could do that," he mumbled softly, voice wet with imminent crying.

Sam rested his hand on Dean's shoulder and sat on the edge of the bed. "You've got it all backwards, Dean. You didn't do anything."

"Exactly, Sam!" Dean exploded, face damp with the tears that fell down his face. "I didn't do anything and then that guy was walking around scot-free!" He ripped Sam's hand from his shoulder. "H-he thought it was okay, Sam! He probably did it to other kids!" Dean was sobbing by now. "That time...remember that time when he came to visit and Mom said he was going to take us to the Jayhawks game?"

Sam nodded warily. "Yeah, we ended up not going because you wouldn't come out of your room."

Dean shook his head violently. "He came into my room that night…Sam, if I had done something the first time, he wouldn't have even been there. B-but I'm stupid and let him do it!" A blubbering mess, Dean continued near screaming at his brother.

"A-and sometimes I think maybe if I did say something...I think he would've gone to you...and I-I couldn't let that happen."

Dean was trembling. Sam pulled him into a tight hug and rubbed his back in long strokes. "It's okay now, Dean," he whispered. "It wasn't your fault." Dean's head was smushed into the crook of Sam's neck.

"'es i' was…" he sobbed.

Sam grabbed the sides of his head and pulled him to look him in the eyes. "No, Dean, it's not. Quit telling yourself that."

Dean sucked his lower lip into his mouth and chewed it for a bit before nodding, causing loose tears to fall from his face to their laps.

Sam smiled and lightly kissed Dean on the forehead.

Sam scooted up the bed and laid next to Dean, letting his older brother cling to his side and finish emptying his eyes of tears.

"Thanks, Sammy," he eventually said, "for this."

Sam smirked. "I'm always here for you, Dean," he chimed before looking at his watch. "Oh, uh, except for now," he said as he slid off the bed.

"What?"

"I called someone and they should be here soon," Sam replied with a wink, backing out of the room.

"Sam, what are you talking about?" Dean called after him but he was already out of the room.

Almost immediately, a familiar face filled the doorway.

"Hey," he greeted calmly.

* * *

Sam entered the waiting room and was greeted by Mary and Gabriel.

"How'd it go?" Mary asked.

Gabe eyed Sam's shirt. "Did he splash something on you?"

Sam furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before looking at the wet spots on his chest. "Oh yeah, Dean cried on me."

Mary placed a hand on his shoulder. "That bad?"

Sam smiled and shook his head. "No, it actually was great," he answered before looking at Gabriel. "And Cas is here, right?"

"Yeah," Gabriel nodded. "He should be in there now."

* * *

"Cas, what are you doing here?" Dean asked quietly.

Castiel leaned against the doorframe with his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Dean crossed his arms. "Well, I'm okay." He wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. "Y'know, I didn't want you to see me like this,"he muttered from behind his arm.

Castiel walked toward the bed and sat at the end. "I've seen you looking much worse, Dean," he said with a slight smile. "Remember that time we snuck into the art room after school and a bucket of glitter fell on us?"

"That's not what I meant, Cas." Dean's face and tone was serious.

Cas's smile faltered. "Then what did you mean?"

Dean scoffed and shook his head, at a loss for words because even he didn't know what he meant. "Why are you even here?" he asked, effectively changing the subject.

"Because I care about you," Cas answered plainly.

"I broke up with you, Cas."

Castiel shook his head slightly. "You were upset, you said things you didn't mean."

Dean sat up and leaned toward him. "Do not begin to tell me what I do and do not mean," he hissed.

"I'm sorry." Cas's eyes welled up.

Dean jabbed a finger at him. "No! You're not!" He kicked him hard from under the blanket. Cas winced and stood. "Now, get out."

Castiel covered his eyes with his hand for a moment before turning and running out of the room.

Dean laid back against the pillows. He pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned, mad at himself. He had no reason to be so belligerent to Cas but he did it anyway. Dean pulled the pillow from behind him and pressed it to his face, grumbling loudly into it.

Why did he have to be so stupid? He could have just let Cas be Cas and be sorry and caring like always and maybe they'd be back together, spooning in this very bed.

He pushed the pillow down harder. Maybe he'd suffocate and there would be one less loser in the world.

Suddenly the pillow was gone.

"Hey now, buddy, don't do that," a voice said in a thick southern accent.

Dean turned his head to the sound. A man with a scruffy beard and dark blue scrubs stood with Dean's pillow in his hands, moving to put it back under his head.

"Who are you?" Dean asked with one eyebrow raised as the stranger fluffed the pillow and pushed back into place.

"I'm Benny Lafitte, intern," Benny introduced himself, sticking a hand out to be shaken. Dean ignored it. "I saw you doin' this with your pillow and I thought I should stop ya."

"Yeah, well," Dean sneered, "you've stopped me, you can go now."

Benny smirked and gazed at him for a few silent moments. "You sure are cute," he remarked, propping himself against the rail of the bed.

Dean felt a blush creep onto his face and he looked away. "Uh, okay," he muttered, still fighting the blush on his cheeks. Benny hooked a finger under his chin and turned his face back to him.

Before Dean could protest, there was a firm pair of lips on his.

Dean panicked. His face burned with anger and disgust with both himself and the stranger attached to his lips. In a haze of the raging anxiety attack to come, he squeaked and pressed his hands firmly against the man's chest.

Dean pushed the intern as hard as he could. "W-what the fuck?! No, I have a boyfriend."

"Ain't what it looked like to me," Benny cooed before kissing him again.

Dean squirmed. He shoved at Benny's shoulders. "Stop!" he shrieked.

Benny finally backed away. "Jeez, kid. What's your problem?"

"Get out of here!" Dean yelled as he reached for his phone on the table. Benny left with a scowl. Dean fumbled with his phone until he located the contact he needed. His hands were shaking as he pressed the phone to his ear.

The dull ringing seemed to go on forever before someone eventually answered.

With a weak and unsteady voice, he choked out, "Cas, you still here?"

* * *

Castiel shuffled into the waiting room. Gabriel and Sam were at his side in an instant.

"You alright?"

"What happened?"

Cas heaved a watery sigh before he explained how Dean quite literally kicked him out.

Sam frowned. "That son of a bitch," he muttered.

"Come on, kid," Gabriel said as he put his arm around Cas's shoulders. "Let's go get you some jello from the cafeteria."

Castiel leaned into his hold. "I just wanna go home," he quietly mumbled. Sam caught Gabe's glance and they both shrugged.

"Uh, okay." Gabe began leading him to the door when Castiel's phone rang. He pulled it from his back pocket and watched Dean's name flash on the screen while an 8-bit version of Vanilla Twilight played. Dean had always asked him to change it but Cas would just stick his tongue out at him and tell him to 'stuff it.' Cas looked to Gabriel who shook his head lightly.

Castiel sighed and answered it. Dean sounded alarmingly disheveled and anxiety ridden. His eyes widened.

"Yeah, I'm still here," he quaked.

Dean's voice was so small when he stammered, "Could you c-come to my room?"

Cas nodded even though he knew Dean couldn't see him. He wriggled out of his older brother's grasp and sprinted toward Dean's room.

Castiel appeared in the doorway seconds later. He stared as Dean curled up on his side and clutched a pillow over his face.

"What's wrong?" he breathed softly.

Dean lowered the pillow. His eyes were filled with tears that threatened to spill out onto his face. Cas hurried to the bed and scooped the crying boy into his arms. Dean was gasping and shaking. Castiel laid in the bed curled around him and smoothing down his light brown hair.

"Shhhh," he whispered into his ear. "It's okay."

Dean settled into Cas and calmed slightly. Cas cupped his cheeks in his hands and cleared away his tears with his thumbs. Dean leaned forward and touched their foreheads together, closing his eyes.

Castiel pressed a soft kiss to the tip of Dean's nose as he pulled the thin sheet over them. Their legs entangled under the blanket and Dean drifted to sleep with Cas's worried eyes on him.


	6. Chapter 5: Don't Forget Adam

Mary watched a skinny, blonde kid who looked about ten walk through the hospital doors and rush to the desk. He and the nurse traded some words before the nurse pointed down a hallway marked 'ICU'. The kid nodded and turned back to the door for a moment before waving his hand in a 'come on' motion. Mary looked at the door and a woman entered, presumably the boy's mother. The two headed off in the direction the nurse motioned to.

She thought not much of it and continued thumbing through a pamphlet about post-traumatic stress disorder.

"Are you Sam Winchester?"

Mary looked up and saw the boy from before talking to her youngest son.

"Yeah, why?" he responded, somewhat confused.

The boy scratched his head for a second then stuck out his hand. "I'm Adam. John told my mom that you're his son." Adam glanced at Gabriel who sat next to Sam. "Dean?"

Gabriel chuckled. "Nah. Call me Gabe." He pointed down to where Dean's room was. "Dean-o's down that way."

Adam awkwardly pocketed his hand after it not being shaken and followed Gabe's finger. He read the patient signs next to the doors as he walked past them and eventually reached the one reading 'D. Winchester.'

He poked his head in the door and saw two guys snuggled up close on the bed. Adam could tell they were sleeping and didn't want to bother them so he crept back out and headed back to the waiting room.

Sam, Gabriel, and Mary were huddled together and speaking in hushed tones.

"Really? Another kid? I don't believe this guy," Gabriel muttered.

"Doesn't surprise me," Mary added.

Sam sighed. "Alright, all of that aside, what if John did the same thing to Adam?"

Adam loudly cleared his throat at the mention of his name. The three turned to him.

"U-uh, hey, Adam," Sam stammered.

"What are you talking about?" he asked as he took another step closer.

Mary stood. "Take us to John," she ordered.

Adam nodded and walked down to the ICU, Mary, Sam, and Gabriel following close behind. They appeared in the doorway in seconds and laid eyes on the most despicable man in existence.

John groaned and shifted slightly in the bed. He was still unconscious but even with those eyes closed, the evil still radiated from him.

His doctor stood in the corner reading a chart. He noticed when the group walked in and approached them.

"Family?" he asked. Sam nodded, Mary sort of shrugged. "The bullet ripped through his stomach and liver, causing major internal bleeding. Fortunately, the bullet missed the spinal cord."

"Oh, how _fortunate_," Sam muttered, earning a subtle elbow jab from Mary.

Mary coughed slightly and asked, "Do you know when he will be awake?"

The doctor shook his head. "But we'll let you know when he is." He hung the chart on the wall as he left the room.

Sam turned to the unconscious form of his father and sneered. "Bastard" Mary nudged him and he scoffed at her. "Well, he _is._" He pointed angrily at him. "Why should assholes like him get to live?"

"Don't talk about him like that," Adam barked. Sam, who had momentarily forgotten about his presence, immediately blanched. Mary glanced at Sam before bending down to Adam's eye level.

"Adam, this is really important," she dictated. "I need you to tell me if your dad ever…" Mary sighed. She didn't think she could finish the question that told the young boy that his father was a child molester.

"Did John ever touch you on your bathing suit parts?" Sam blurted, in a fit of rage toward John. Gabriel and Mary both stared at him in shock. Adam dropped his gaze to the floor.

There was a long, tense moment of uncertainty before anyone spoke again.

"Yes," Adam mumbled.

* * *

Dean woke to the sound of a cute boy softly snoring. He smiled to himself and watched Castiel's chest rise and fall with his breaths. Dean laid there for a few moments just soaking in the adorableness that was Castiel Novak.

The viewing was short lived as a nurse rapped her knuckles against the door frame.

Cas moved only slightly. He rolled closer to Dean and pressed his face into his shoulder. Dean smirked and pressed a kiss into Cas's hair.

The nurse loudly cleared her throat.

"Alright," he whispered without looking at her. "What do you want?"

She took a step into the room and loudly stated, "It's lunchtime in the cafeteria," causing Castiel to rub his fist into his eye like a small child and grumble as he rouses.

"Le's get s'mwiches," he muttered and nuzzled back into the crook of Dean's neck.

Dean shrugged. "Bring us sandwiches," he ordered.

The nurse sighed, as if to say "We don't really do that but alright," then exited.

Cas smiled against Dean's neck.

"What?" Dean chuckled.

"So rude," he chaffed.

Dean thought for a moment. "Yeah, I am kinda rude."

Castiel sat up and caught his eye. "I was kidding."

Dean shook his head. "Nah, I meant about earlier." He took Cas's hand in his. "I'm sorry I kicked you out," he smiled a bit and looked away, "literally."

"Dean, It's alright."

"No, it's not. I was really mean."

"It's okay."

"No! Cas it's-"

Castiel stopped Dean's words with a gentle kiss to the lips.

"It's fine," he whispered, "really." Cas rubbed his thumb over Dean's knuckles.

Dean anxiously nodded. "O-okay." He leaned forward and again pressed his lips against Cas's.

"Sandwich delivery!" The nurse appeared back in the doorway and chirped.

Dean and Cas both turned their heads to see her holding a tray with two alright-looking sandwiches wrapped in cellophane on it.

Dean chuckled. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot."

"You okay?" she asked as she placed the tray on the table by the bed.

He raised a hand to his face and realised he had been crying. Dean nodded and wiped away the tears. "Yeah, we were just talking."

"Well, okay. Let me know if you need anything." The two on the bed nodded and she left.

Dean grabbed the two sandwiches and handed one to Cas.

* * *

The room was silent. Adam was nodding his head uncontrollably and tears began forming in his eyes.

"Oh my god," Gabriel whispered, finally breaking the silence. He grabbed the boy by the shoulders to steady him and Adam hugged him around the waist as he began to sob.

Sam went to the bed and yelled obscenities at John. Mary stopped him when she put a hand on his shoulder and he calmed slightly.

"That's it, I'm calling Bobby," Sam sighed eventually, pulling his phone out of his pocket and stepping into the hall. Mary followed.

"What is he going to do?" she asked exasperatedly.

"Hopefully beat some sense into John when he wakes up," Sam answered as he brought the phone to his ear. He turned away as Gabe and Adam joined them outside the door. Gabe's shirt was wet with the boy's tears.

"I'm gonna take him outside for some air," he said, one hand still on Adam's shoulder. Mary nodded and the two left. She turned to Sam who was now yelling into the phone.

"I'm sick of his shit, Bobby. I need you to get down here and kick his ass…I don't care if you're busy, you need...yeah, I know…Well, when can you come?...Okay, fine… Yeah, I guess I'll see you then." He hung up and pocketed his phone, turning to his mother. "He said he'd be here tomorrow."

* * *

Gabriel sat with Adam on a bench outside the hospital. The boy hadn't yet stopped crying, Gabriel spoke to him anyway.

"But, hey, don't worry, kid," Gabriel continued soothing him, "John's going to prison for a long time and we're gonna get help for you."

Adam nodded.

"And you don't have to tell your mom if you don't want to, okay?"

Adam nodded again.

"Alright, and I'm gonna get you a big swirly lollipop for telling the truth and because you deserve it," he finished, patting him on the back.

Adam grinned slightly and the tears stopped. "Thanks," he muttered.

The hospital doors opened and Sam emerged from them. "Hey," he said approaching them. Gabe waved, Adam wiped the tears from his face and smiled at him. "Dean and Cas are talking to the cops." He patted Adam on the shoulder. "Everything's gonna be fine, kid."


	7. Epilogue

By the end of the week, Dean was back home and John was in police custody. Dean was released from the cops on account of emotional distress and self defense. He also scheduled an appointment to see a psychiatrist and was starting treatment for his cardiac dysrhythmia. The entire Winchester family let out a collective sigh as they walked through the threshold of the house.

So whatever happened to that Benny guy?" Sam asked as he flopped down on the couch.

Dean followed, falling softer and trying not to jostle his injuries too much. "He got arrested and I think fired," he shrugged.

"Are you not pressing charges?"

"No way, I'm so done with dealing with cops and lawyers. But I'm pretty sure he's a registered sex offender now," he added with a grin.

"Nice," Sam nodded then something occurred to him. "Hey, don't you and Cas still have to pick up your diplomas?"

Dean chuckled. "Yeah, we're heading down tomorrow to get them."

The next day, Dean picked up Castiel at his home and the two drove to their alma mater. They held each other's hands as they entered the main office and received, albeit necessary, a weird look from the secretary.

"Hey, we're here to pick up our diplomas," Dean said as he adjusted the mortar board on his head.

The secretary glanced from Dean to Cas, both fully decked out in their graduation gear. "You guys know you don't have to dress up to do this, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, but this is more fun," Cas replied, smiling.

"Alright," he sighed. "Names?"

"Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak," Dean said proudly.

He thumbed through the box of manila envelopes and located the two containing Dean and Cas's diplomas. He tried to hand them to the boys but they refused with grins on their faces, earning a raised eyebrow from the man.

"We want you to say the junk they would say at graduation. Y'know, like GPA and what we're doing after high school," Dean insisted.

He sighed. "Okay, gimme a second." The secretary logged onto his computer and scrolled to the information he needed. He cleared his throat before beginning.

"Dean Ross Winchester, GPA: 2.7, will be entering the workforce." He held out the envelope and Dean took it with one hand, extending the other for the man to shake and looking at Cas who suddenly had his phone out and was taking a picture. Dean quickly took out the diploma and held it with both hands over his head, smiling from ear to ear. Cas snapped another picture of his dork.

The secretary giggled at the two before continuing. "Castiel Tippens Novak, GPA: 4.0, will be attending Stanford University with a full ride." Castiel handed his phone to Dean before shaking the man's hand and taking the envelope, looking at Dean who now played the part of photographer.

The three had a good laugh before Dean and Castiel left and soon found themselves in the Impala parked in a field at the edge of town.

Cas took of his cap then Dean's before leaning over the seat and pressing a light kiss on his boyfriend's freckled cheek. "I'm so proud of you," he whispered against his skin.

Dean smiled and turned toward Castiel. His cheeks flushed red as he muttered, "Thanks." He cupped Cas's face in his hands and kissed his lips. Resting his forehead against Castiel's, he whispered, "I love you."

Cas gently held Dean's wrists and softly replied, "I love you, too."


End file.
